This list came about after some time reflecting and having conversations with friends who are also 30 somethings or approaching 30 years old. I cannot believe in October I will be 37 years old. It seems surreal even typing those words but it’s true. Time flies but I am truly loving my 30’s. I have traveled the world, gotten married to the love of my life, purchased our second home, and much more. My 30’s also have not come without its own set of losses and disappointments. I have and continue to learn a ton and I just wanted to share some of these things with you as you navigate this stage of your life with me. We are in this together. If you are in your 20’s I believe these things can apply to you too and if you apply them you will truly be ahead of the game. <3
1. Self- care is “Soul Care” and Necessary. Our soul is made up of three parts. Our mind, will and emotions. I realized that when I don’t properly take care of myself, then my soul is vexed. It opens the door for anxiety, I can become so overwhelmed that I shut down, and my emotions end up being all over the place. Can anyone else relate? Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for having a self-care day. Schedule that hour or two or even a day just for you to recharge and reboot regularly. Quiet your mind, drink lots of water, worship, meditate, sleep, read a book, go hiking, go to the spa, etc. Simply do whatever you need to do for you, and do it regularly!
2. What you eat matters and so does exercise! Have you noticed that your once always flat tummy isn’t so flat anymore? Well if you don’t get a hold of it quick it will get out of control. Your metabolism slows down in your 30’s, and you do not burn fat as easy. We have to be intentional with what we are putting into our bodies. After looking up at myself at age 35 and realizing I gained a hefty 15 lbs. I realized that my old way of doing things just wasn’t enough anymore. After some research, I decided to transition to a mostly plant based diet. I’m from the DMV, so I do eat the occasional crab cake. But for the most part I am totally plant based. The juicing, making smoothies, drinking my Greens superfood, and taking vitamins all have played a part in me feeling better. I also started incorporating exercise in my home and during the summer and spring months bike riding. I lost that unnecessary 15lbs and I feel so much better! I’m not telling everyone to go Vegan, but I am encouraging you to be mindful of what you put into your body on a daily basis. Lastly, find an exercise routine that works for you and stick with it.
3. You have 2 or 3 close friends and that’s ok. If you are blessed with more that’s absolutely amazing. But if you have a good 1 or two good girlfriends in your life cherish them. Throughout our 20’s, and college years many of us used the word friend loosely. As you enter your 30’s you begin to truly value that word and you don’t assign it to just anyone. Your true friendships aren’t built on just going out and having fun. When you are in your 30’s your friendships walk with you through real life challenges. Your friends will walk with you through various seasons of life such as marriage, pregnancy, and at times divorce. If you are a good friend you are also walking them through and supporting them in these seasons. In my 30’s, I truly realized who my friends were and refused to settle for forced or surface relationships. Don’t apologize for having a standard for your friendships. Protect your peace, and your inner circle. Allow God to guide you to your tribe.
4. Family Matters- At age 36 years old, September 5th 2017 I unexpectedly lost my father. The years prior to him passing away, I felt led to be intentional in our relationship. I can honestly say I don’t have any regrets as it relates to our relationship. I gave my father love, and most importantly quality time. My father suffered through addiction, COPD, and PTSD and I still loved him through it. It hurts knowing I won’t see him again until we meet in eternity. Yet losing my dad has taught me the importance of valuing time with family. As we grow older it’s a fact that we have to face. Death will happen. I’m not trying to be grim, but it’s simply the nature of this fallen world. Cherish the time you have with your loved ones. Create precious memories with your parents. Forgive anyone you need to forgive. And remember you only get one family and they matter!
5. Make sure your financial ducks are in a row! The 30’s fly by and you must make sure you are preparing for the future. This means, just having a bank account and a savings is not enough. Find a good financial advisor and begin to learn how to make your money make MORE money. Increase your investments in your retirement account. Get life insurance and get your Will done. Too many people are having to pass the pot and create Go Fund Me accounts when their relatives pass away. Make it easy on your family members and use your 30’s to do some estate planning. Lastly, don't be afraid to start building another stream of income! Whatever it is, your vision is worth it.
6. It’s not too late to START in your 30’s- I am not the same person that I was in my 20’s and chances are neither are you. You’ve evolved and so have your desires. You realized that you had certain gifts and talents that may not have fully manifested themselves until recently. With that being said, its ok to start something new. Do what makes your heart flutter and what sets your soul on fire. Its ok to start that college course, or to start taking that dance class, or to start learning the guitar, or to start writing that book! In my 30’s I have found: Passion. This is why I’m enjoying this decade of my life so much. Do what you are most passionate about it and then learn how to monetize that passion.
7. Being Grounded in Your Faith is Key- By now you should know what you believe, why you believe it, and know how to defend what you believe. If you are a Christian this process is called Apologetics. The formal definition is this: a branch of Christian theology that aims to present historical, reasoned, and evidential bases for Christianity, defending it against objections. Many people are getting married in their 30’s and starting families. It’s important to know what you believe and why because it’s that foundation that you will build your family with. Having a strong foundation in Christ and being rooted goes a long way. There will be many things throughout your life that comes to challenge your belief but those who are truly rooted will not be shaken. If you don’t know I want to challenge you to get in a Bible Teaching, Bible believing church. You can also contact me personally and I’ll share some books to help guide you along the way. Matthew 7:24- (NLT) Building on a Solid Foundation-24 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. 26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. 27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”
8. God’s timing is the best timing, so rest and don’t worry about what has not happened yet! – It truly breaks my heart when I hear 30 somethings solely focusing on what they don’t have instead of enjoying life’s precious moments. Ok, I get it. We all had our “plans” in life. If it were up to me, by now I would have had at least 2 children over the age of 10 who would be homeschooled and traveling with me all over the globe to give back, and speak alongside my husband. Lord willing that will still happen. Yet, we have come to peace with the fact that it hasn’t and we are enjoying our lives today. I have been married to my husband for 6 years (it will be 7 years on 9/24/18) and we are definitely still praying, believing and trusting the Lord for a lot. We desire to add to our family but we are perfectly settled in God’s timing for our lives. I love when we have the opportunity to travel and share the gospel but if it doesn’t happen every week or even every month I’m not sitting at home moping around. Absolutely not! We are making the best of the moments, growing in all areas, being creative, and making impact right where we are. We have to remember its God who promotes and opens doors. This doesn’t mean we stand still. It means you do what you know to do, and just trust God’s direction and timing for your life. Don’t allow being married, fertility, the pursuit of purpose or anything else become an obsession or an idol in your life.
Ecclesiastes 3:1- For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven…
9. Even if you have to go alone, GO! – In my 20’s in order to go somewhere new or to travel I always wanted someone by my side. In your 30’s you should be comfortable enough with yourself that you don’t mind having an experience on your own (as long as it’s safe of course). If you have bucket list items it’s time to make sure you are checking these items off yearly. But don’t wait until you have someone by your side to do them all. If you desire to travel there are some amazing travel groups you can tap into that allow you to meet other people and experience some cool places. By the time you are in your 30’s, most of your friends will be married and with children. You may be married and with children by now. With this comes a ton of responsibilities for everyone. This means, you may not always have a “crew” to experience things with you at the time you want to enjoy them. I watched a friend recently experience Dubai with a travel group and she had the time of her life making new friends along the way. I admired how she is determined to have new experiences no matter who is along with her for the ride and I resolve to do the same.
10. You are not old! - In a society obsessed with aging you can really begin to think being in your 30’s is over the hill. You are definitely in the “adulting” age but don’t allow anyone to make you feel old. There is so much more life to live and things to do and discover. Keep the stress low, laugh a lot, pray even more, and serve your gift to the world. Keep dreaming and working to manifest those dreams. Most importantly honor God and don’t forget to have FUN with your life.
Jennifer Lucy Tyler
Do Good. Feel Good. Look Good.